Of expectations & frustrations

Why are we always mad at our husband?

I bet many of us frequently asks this to ourselves. Especially when we are at work thinking about our fight/argument/misunderstanding the night before. Especially when we talk oh-so-nicely to our colleagues while we shouted or sneered at our husband in the morning before going to work. Especially when we say 'hey, not a problem' to our team member who screws up that critical report program while we make such a big deal out of the husband forgetting to help with the dishes.

So why do we do that? I, for one, think it is the expectations. Perhaps we set too high expectations for our husband. You know, like, you are married to me, hence I would expect you to do the things that can make me happy, definitely not do the things I do not like, be there every single time I need you, gives me support everytime I'm down, and the list goes on and on.

Yeah, expectations. When the expectation bar is set so high up, the frustrations of them not living up to our expectations can be quite huge. Well, we need to remember that we are dealing with another human being here, who bounds to have flaws, and shortcomings of their own. During bad times, we need to remind ourselves why we fall in love with them in the first place. Do some math on their good sides and I am sure the good qualities greatly outweighs the bad ones. Then we won't be so mad anymore :)

And I think we need to lower our expectations a bit in order for us to have a more satisfying relationship with our husband, and most importantly, to be at peace with ourselves as well.

I need to tell myself more, that just because he is my husband, does not mean he needs to take care of my every need, does not mean that he needs to come and rescue me when someone bangs into my car and then gives me such a hard time, does not mean that he needs to bring me to see the gynae when something is very wrong with my whole system, and definitely does not mean he needs to listen to how my day goes at the end of each day. I may need to do some of those on my own, or if I really can't, then there's always my support system. (my support system = mom, dad, siblings and best friends).

Towards lower expectations and less frustrations!